Those Tricky Elevators

Unfortunately, this does not fall into the "computer" category. I've been pretty quiet on the blog front for the past few months, so I figured this story would be as good as any to post.

Everyone has been that guy (or girl). You are riding in an elevator, it stops and the door open. Without paying attention, you make a move to walk off when you realize that it is only the second floor, and you're trying to go to the eighth. Its normal, and by no means blog-worthy.

This person, is not that guy (or girl)".

I'm in the lobby heading back to my office which is located on the fourth floor. So, when I get on the elevator I instinctively press "4". Another person gets on right behind me, who then presses "3", I assume he works on the 3rd floor. Then boards the third person who waits until

the doors close to press her floor, which is the "M". As elevators do, it went up one floor to the "M", stopped, dung, and the doors opened. Well, she stands there for a good two seconds, until the doors start to close, and says "OH! This is my floor?!

I thought it would stop for you guys first!"

The other person and I just looked at each other and laughed once she got off.

No Title Needed

I've talked about the tier one support before, and how unimpressive their technological skills are yet never cease to amaze us with the lack of effort they put forth in their bumbling attempts to "help" people. For every person I blog about (which apparenlty has been in the 60's), there are at least two stories of these bafoons I could tell but choose not to because the conversations only last a few seconds. They will ask things like "Why can't this person get on the internet?" To which I/we will reply "Are they connected to it?" "Oh, I didn't ask... hang on". That is but a small example of what we deal with. It is really more the lack of effort than the actual questions. Not knowing something is one thing, but not even TRYING is something else.



This time... I can't help but share. I was so excited, I dropped the phone, and proclaimed this to be the BEST phone call I have ever recieved, and will stop taking calls from our tier one due to never being able to top it.



Caller: This is *insert name here*. I have a question for you. Where is the power-button on the *insert workstation type*.

Me: As in... the button you press to turn it on?

Caller: Yes.

Me: So... it IS plugged in... you just don't know how to activate it?

Caller: Correct.

Me: Have you tried looking at the FRONT of the box?

Caller: Well... no... I mean... I can't find it.

Me: Check the frong again... there should be a power-button right above the Dell logo.

Caller: Oh... okay... thanks...



Wow.....

More Bars; More Stupidity

It took me a couple of days, but I was finally able to arrange an appointment with this one particualry indiviudal who apparently, needed their blackberry setup. I emailed them a few minutes before I left my office to make sure they where at their desk. They where, so, off I went. I walked to the stair case right outside my door, went up the two floors, and crossed a hallway to get to this persons desk. It was a TOTAL, of no more than 30 feet (as a crow flies anyway).
The following conversation took place between the hours of 730.30 and 730.37. The converstaion happened in real-time.

"Hi, I'm Nick, I'm with IT."
*confused look* "okay..."
"I am here to setup your blackberry... I JUST talked to you."
"Okay."
"..... do you have your blackberry?"
"No"
"Did you leave it at home?"
"No"
"..... do you HAVE a blackberry?"
"No."
"Ah. Okay. Well, when you get one let me know, then we can help you set it up."

*sigh*

Shake Rattle and Roll

I am going to start off with taking some advice I gave to a co-worker the other day. I am just going to start typing whatever comes into my head until I find a way to open and close this blog. It really shouldn't be that hard, it is about some silly users who don't know how to use a computer, how hard can it be to write about that? I guess that just after so many posts, the creative aspect of writing is starting to go away. There are just so many ways I can open up with "So, this user walks in" or "I got a phone call from so and so". The setup is generally always the same, its just the punch line that changes. Any advice on what I can do/say to add more variety to my posts will be greatly appreciated.

"I need you to come down to the NRCC and take a look at some of the computer, people are saying they can't login." (see how I just hoped right into it there?)
As I try to sneak into the room without disturbing the meeting going on, I'm called about the instructor that I'm the IT guy, and anytime they need help, come see me. He then proceeds to tell me that there are several computers that are not working/people can't login to them. He also then tells me "I think this one computer is actually broken, it rattles when I shake it", to which I immediately replied, "Well then don't shake it! Its not a rattle!"
As for the non-working computers.... they where turned off. I just needed to turn them on.

/sigh

We don't need no stinkin wires.

While investigating a "User can not connect to the internet/network" ticket, I was also asked to help someone else in the same room. This is how that conversation went:

User: Can you get me a longer internet cord? As you can see, its stretching over my co-workers desk, and I don't want it to interfere with him. Its been like this for a week, and no one will help.

Me: [Pushes cable so it falls behind the desk that it is stretching across] Is that better?

User: .... yes.

/Facepalm

User: I need help printing.

Me: Okay. What seems to be the problem?

User: Where does the document go when I print?

Me: .... to the print device?

User: No, I mean which one?

Me: The printer you selected...?

User: But where is it?

[Nick looks over the computer and notices the user is attempting to print to "OneNote"]

Me: Well, first, you're not actually printing to a print device...

User: I know, but when this screen pops up [pointing to the OneNote image], where does it go?

Me: It goes to the screen...? The file doesn't move, it stays where you opened it from.

User: Okay, but then why can't I print it?

Me: Because you don't have an ACTUAL Printer selected.

User: I know because...

Me: Here. [Clicks on a printer] You're all set. Just hit print, and walk over to THAT printer to pick up what you want printed.

I'll be here all week....

User: I need some help when you get a second.

Me: Okay... what seems to be the problem?

User: I need your help to install a webpage.

Me: .... You need me to install a webpage?

User: Yes, I can't access *insert web page*

Me: You can't access it, or you can't get to it?

User: I can't get to it. I need you to install it.

Me: Okay, well what is the address?

User: I don't know. I just need you to install it for me.
Me: Do you know HOW a webpage works?

User: Yes, I just need you to install it.

[Walks across stage to users computer. Nick begins typing on keyboard while user looks over shoulder]

Me: So, is THIS the webpage you need installed?

User: YES! Thank you!