Audit-ations

User: I need you to look at a computer today. One of our auditors says his computer doesn't have the policy which is suppose to lock the screen after fifteen minutes of in-activity. This is a security issue, as it is one of our auditors, and he has sensitive information on his computer. Me: While I understand your concern, perhaps this employee should follow our rules regarding locking their computer when it is not in use. Fifteen minutes is a long time to leave a machine unlocked if you are counting on a policy to protect your files. User: You know what? That is a good point. Disregard this conversation. /facepalm

N-I-C-H......

Today I went to see an individual who was experiencing problems activiating their blackberry. They told me they have been unsuccessful the past two weeks at following the directions provided, and if I could please take the device and see if I can activated. I obliged.

I followed the directions, and sure enough the blackberry did not activate. I tried it once more, thinking that maybe there was something wrong with the connection, still it failed to activate. I was about to throw the device across the room when I thought of one POSSIBLE solution.

Now you see, Blackberry's, despite their exotic fruity naming convention, are quite simple to use. They are linked to an email account, which notifies the carrier of said device, "Hey, someone just emailed you, here is the message." Due to its ablility to keep you connected, it does require one thing. That one thing is the ability to spell. More specifically, the ability to spell your name. Our email address's (in most cases) are just our names, so this skill is very handy to have when you are inputting it into the "email address" field. Upon looking at the settings, I saw this person did not possess this skill.

There are ten letters in their name, so getting one or two confused is inevitable right?

Limbo Blackberry

Wow. It has been a long time since I have updated this blog. Here it is the Ides of March, and I am just now getting around to posting my first post on those story posting site. To be clear, I don't think my lack of writing has had to do with the lack of talent around me. This agency has not suddenly became smarter with the change of the year year (quite the contrary actually), but with all the increased work-load, I just don't have time to really take in exactly what is being said as I'm helping people. I need to change that. I can already feel the creative juice rust falling off my brain as I type this, and I need to keep my mind sharp.

There really isn't much to this other than the write up in my ticket which is as follows:
"The users Blackberry won't turn off or on."

Those Tricky Elevators

Unfortunately, this does not fall into the "computer" category. I've been pretty quiet on the blog front for the past few months, so I figured this story would be as good as any to post.

Everyone has been that guy (or girl). You are riding in an elevator, it stops and the door open. Without paying attention, you make a move to walk off when you realize that it is only the second floor, and you're trying to go to the eighth. Its normal, and by no means blog-worthy.

This person, is not that guy (or girl)".

I'm in the lobby heading back to my office which is located on the fourth floor. So, when I get on the elevator I instinctively press "4". Another person gets on right behind me, who then presses "3", I assume he works on the 3rd floor. Then boards the third person who waits until

the doors close to press her floor, which is the "M". As elevators do, it went up one floor to the "M", stopped, dung, and the doors opened. Well, she stands there for a good two seconds, until the doors start to close, and says "OH! This is my floor?!

I thought it would stop for you guys first!"

The other person and I just looked at each other and laughed once she got off.

No Title Needed

I've talked about the tier one support before, and how unimpressive their technological skills are yet never cease to amaze us with the lack of effort they put forth in their bumbling attempts to "help" people. For every person I blog about (which apparenlty has been in the 60's), there are at least two stories of these bafoons I could tell but choose not to because the conversations only last a few seconds. They will ask things like "Why can't this person get on the internet?" To which I/we will reply "Are they connected to it?" "Oh, I didn't ask... hang on". That is but a small example of what we deal with. It is really more the lack of effort than the actual questions. Not knowing something is one thing, but not even TRYING is something else.



This time... I can't help but share. I was so excited, I dropped the phone, and proclaimed this to be the BEST phone call I have ever recieved, and will stop taking calls from our tier one due to never being able to top it.



Caller: This is *insert name here*. I have a question for you. Where is the power-button on the *insert workstation type*.

Me: As in... the button you press to turn it on?

Caller: Yes.

Me: So... it IS plugged in... you just don't know how to activate it?

Caller: Correct.

Me: Have you tried looking at the FRONT of the box?

Caller: Well... no... I mean... I can't find it.

Me: Check the frong again... there should be a power-button right above the Dell logo.

Caller: Oh... okay... thanks...



Wow.....

More Bars; More Stupidity

It took me a couple of days, but I was finally able to arrange an appointment with this one particualry indiviudal who apparently, needed their blackberry setup. I emailed them a few minutes before I left my office to make sure they where at their desk. They where, so, off I went. I walked to the stair case right outside my door, went up the two floors, and crossed a hallway to get to this persons desk. It was a TOTAL, of no more than 30 feet (as a crow flies anyway).
The following conversation took place between the hours of 730.30 and 730.37. The converstaion happened in real-time.

"Hi, I'm Nick, I'm with IT."
*confused look* "okay..."
"I am here to setup your blackberry... I JUST talked to you."
"Okay."
"..... do you have your blackberry?"
"No"
"Did you leave it at home?"
"No"
"..... do you HAVE a blackberry?"
"No."
"Ah. Okay. Well, when you get one let me know, then we can help you set it up."

*sigh*

Shake Rattle and Roll

I am going to start off with taking some advice I gave to a co-worker the other day. I am just going to start typing whatever comes into my head until I find a way to open and close this blog. It really shouldn't be that hard, it is about some silly users who don't know how to use a computer, how hard can it be to write about that? I guess that just after so many posts, the creative aspect of writing is starting to go away. There are just so many ways I can open up with "So, this user walks in" or "I got a phone call from so and so". The setup is generally always the same, its just the punch line that changes. Any advice on what I can do/say to add more variety to my posts will be greatly appreciated.

"I need you to come down to the NRCC and take a look at some of the computer, people are saying they can't login." (see how I just hoped right into it there?)
As I try to sneak into the room without disturbing the meeting going on, I'm called about the instructor that I'm the IT guy, and anytime they need help, come see me. He then proceeds to tell me that there are several computers that are not working/people can't login to them. He also then tells me "I think this one computer is actually broken, it rattles when I shake it", to which I immediately replied, "Well then don't shake it! Its not a rattle!"
As for the non-working computers.... they where turned off. I just needed to turn them on.

/sigh